The first scene between the two office guys of this short goes on and on, far beyond what should made it through the editing phase. Get in late and out early is good advice to writers and editors. However, the story gets much better after that first scene. And the story twists' payoff is great with the woman on the cell phone. That payoff in the end is what makes a short story fun to watch.
In response to the first comment. That's interesting. I agree that it's too long, but I disagree which scene is too long. I am entertained by the first scene, I find it humorous. Yet the second scene drags on a bit after its point has been made. Though I feel the same about the ending, it makes up for it a bit.
This film is a wonderful example of what can happen to us when we least expect it. Some of the most meaningful, lasting moments in life occur spontaneously and without warning. I thought this was portrayed beautifully through the characters and the writing. A very original, heart-felt story.
I enjoyed the subtle performance by the actors and the scenery shots were very nice. It's a good way to see how to make a script simple but poignant. Although it left me wanting more..
Always a good thing when a short film leaves you wanting more -- that's success. Congrats, this is a fine piece of work. As a screenwriter, I had a slight quibble with Brad's description scene. I wanted him to start as he did, describing it as she says "a techie" but when he tries again, still not as successful in painting the picture, then again with her help, he nails it. Reminded me of the scene in "Amelie" where she walks the blind man across the street and describes all she sees. Sharing in this way is creating love, which is the point of this short film. Again, a quibble. Fine writing, fine camera work and good actors. Congrats.
You get a real sense of the characters in this short, especially the guy who plays the "techie". The dialog made me laugh out loud more than once. I especially enjoyed the scene at the end where the true date is in the background displaying the characteristics more common in the dates this friend has paired him with.
Sweet story, I like it. (Twist is both clever and unique, the Einstein/Newton conversation in the office was great).
I didn't really like the way the blind actress delivered most of her lines...it felt like she was acting and trying to be poetic instead of trying to have an honest conversation. Also the shots of the river, although nice, became a little tedious. That part could have been shortened a little.
The first scene is way overwritten and should have ended up on the floor. Such clatter does little to advance the characters. The premise could have been revealed in just a few sentences. Remember to show and not tell. Movies are about images and action, not pointless rambling. The pace really improves once on the bridge...almost like there were two different writers/filmmakers. The male lead was suitable and convincing. The actress playing the blind woman was not as believable but gave it the old college try. Nice poignant and ironic touches in the dialogue and great, albeit patented, twist at the end. The bridge was well integrated into the story. Half good.
The first scene is way overwritten and should have ended up on the floor. Such clatter does little to advance the characters. The premise could have been revealed in just a few sentences. Remember to show and not tell. Movies are about images and action, not pointless rambling. The pace really improves once on the bridge...almost like there were two different writers/filmmakers. The male lead was suitable and convincing. The actress playing the blind woman was not as believable but gave it the old college try. Nice poignant and ironic touches in the dialogue and great, albeit patented, twist at the end. The bridge was well integrated into the story. Half good.
I think Blind Fate made the best of the rules: it has a few well-definited characters, it made the best use of the Stone Arch Bridge as a location with meaning to the story, and it has simple a twist of fate. Fun to watch. Good job.
One of my sighted friends had me listen and I quite enjoyed the actress who talked about being blind. I thought she did a good job being matter-of-fact about it, which is just how a real blind person would be. Nice story to listen to - good sounds.
To start off, I must say that I loved how the title was introduced...it piqued my interest. The first scene seemed a little long, but not unbearable. The dialogue seemed a tad dry, but interesting nonetheless. Also, the woman at the end on her mobile phone prompted a giggle to escape from me...that was great! The twist was very good. Overall, I enjoyed watching this short.
This movie was quite refreshing, especially after a long working week trying to understand how it all gathers together, and then trying to explain it all to those around... with words that never fit. Here, now with all those overloaded conditions and smoky pop ups that always trig the "don't care flag" ON in the minds of innocent by-passers in the net, some phrases rolled over me in that bridge of yours from somewhere deep inside: A man can watch without seeing anything, but another can see everything without watching. Most important is to keep moving, but it eats the man to make that first step - as it takes a load of work to make the initiative, but where that enormous push leads remains unknown. After all, the one eyed one is not king in the world of the blind. A corner makes no sense to a circle, volume to an area or those things beyond to a puzzled mind, flying under the influence of that butterfly effect. Less is more - but until what limit? Two units unite by removing the fence in between, but if the first fence is removed do we have a one or a zero? This movie was great as it moved me, thanks!
That first scene between Brad and the "ambassador of love" feels long for a couple of reasons. First, the focus of this scene by the director should have been to set up Brad as a character, reveal his reserve and should have put him further into the foreground. A few expository cut in shots could have shown more about Brad. The director could have subtlely hinted at the Einstein "reveal" that was to come later in the scene.
Secondly, one of the shot used prominently in this scene was with Brad's back to the camera and it feels dead. Going to that shot kind of kills the momentum of the scene, when we want to look closer at him and read reaction or expression in his face.
Every scene in an intersting film has a story arch all its own and it is important, in preparation for shooting, to map the arch of a scene and make sure you get all the material for the editor to cut it eficiently and to make it satisfying to watch my the viewer.
Yeah, I would have liked to see the writer nail the setup line, either by as you suggest her smelling the soddering flux on him (very funny) or if Blad's first blush answer to her question was more of a techie answer about seeing powerlines or bridge-deck construction, etc.
Still, I liked this short film very much because the characters are real, the contrasts betwenn them cause sparks to fly and the twist at the end makes for a very satisfying short film.
how sweet is this? very touching and it helped show that even geek men can be in tune with their sensitive side. a nice touch. i adored the ending - brad totally found the right woman in melodie!
(side note: interesting but a little sad to see 35w in the background . . .)
I was very captivated by the opening of the title with the fingers moving across the braille. Very creative. Knowing what Mr. Berquist is going through with his own sight made the film that more impressive. A few little faux pax's but knowing that you shot the whole thing in one day I would say it was a good job. Especially by the Ms. Fradenburgh.
25 comments:
The first scene between the two office guys of this short goes on and on, far beyond what should made it through the editing phase. Get in late and out early is good advice to writers and editors. However, the story gets much better after that first scene. And the story twists' payoff is great with the woman on the cell phone. That payoff in the end is what makes a short story fun to watch.
This movie has a great twist in the end! This is a sweet and clever story.
Wow! I am very impressed with the writers of this short film. I like the twist of fate. He definately got the right girl in the end. :o)
In response to the first comment. That's interesting. I agree that it's too long, but I disagree which scene is too long. I am entertained by the first scene, I find it humorous. Yet the second scene drags on a bit after its point has been made. Though I feel the same about the ending, it makes up for it a bit.
This film is a wonderful example of what can happen to us when we least expect it. Some of the most meaningful, lasting moments in life occur spontaneously and without warning. I thought this was portrayed beautifully through the characters and the writing. A very original, heart-felt story.
I found the plot intreaging. The character describing the view for the woman was a powerful scene. The shot of the powerlines was an amazing find.
I enjoyed the subtle performance by the actors and the scenery shots were very nice. It's a good way to see how to make a script simple but poignant. Although it left me wanting more..
Always a good thing when a short film leaves you wanting more -- that's success. Congrats, this is a fine piece of work. As a screenwriter, I had a slight quibble with Brad's description scene. I wanted him to start as he did, describing it as she says "a techie" but when he tries again, still not as successful in painting the picture, then again with her help, he nails it. Reminded me of the scene in "Amelie" where she walks the blind man across the street and describes all she sees. Sharing in this way is creating love, which is the point of this short film. Again, a quibble. Fine writing, fine camera work and good actors. Congrats.
Unique storyline and outstanding camerawork. Very impressive.
You get a real sense of the characters in this short, especially the guy who plays the "techie". The dialog made me laugh out loud more than once. I especially enjoyed the scene at the end where the true date is in the background displaying the characteristics more common in the dates this friend has paired him with.
Sweet story, I like it. (Twist is both clever and unique, the Einstein/Newton conversation in the office was great).
I didn't really like the way the blind actress delivered most of her lines...it felt like she was acting and trying to be poetic instead of trying to have an honest conversation. Also the shots of the river, although nice, became a little tedious. That part could have been shortened a little.
Very positive, nice movie.
The first scene is way overwritten and should have ended up on the floor. Such clatter does little to advance the characters. The premise could have been revealed in just a few sentences. Remember to show and not tell. Movies are about images and action, not pointless rambling. The pace really improves once on the bridge...almost like there were two different writers/filmmakers. The male lead was suitable and convincing. The actress playing the blind woman was not as believable but gave it the old college try. Nice poignant and ironic touches in the dialogue and great, albeit patented, twist at the end. The bridge was well integrated into the story. Half good.
The first scene is way overwritten and should have ended up on the floor. Such clatter does little to advance the characters. The premise could have been revealed in just a few sentences. Remember to show and not tell. Movies are about images and action, not pointless rambling. The pace really improves once on the bridge...almost like there were two different writers/filmmakers. The male lead was suitable and convincing. The actress playing the blind woman was not as believable but gave it the old college try. Nice poignant and ironic touches in the dialogue and great, albeit patented, twist at the end. The bridge was well integrated into the story. Half good.
Beginning drags on but once you move past that, it is great. Very sweet twist of fate and a neat ending.
I think Blind Fate made the best of the rules: it has a few well-definited characters, it made the best use of the Stone Arch Bridge as a location with meaning to the story, and it has simple a twist of fate. Fun to watch. Good job.
Moving and accurate of todays dating delemias. Good plot, hartfelt ending.
One of my sighted friends had me listen and I quite enjoyed the actress who talked about being blind. I thought she did a good job being matter-of-fact about it, which is just how a real blind person would be. Nice story to listen to - good sounds.
To start off, I must say that I loved how the title was introduced...it piqued my interest. The first scene seemed a little long, but not unbearable. The dialogue seemed a tad dry, but interesting nonetheless. Also, the woman at the end on her mobile phone prompted a giggle to escape from me...that was great! The twist was very good. Overall, I enjoyed watching this short.
This movie was quite refreshing, especially after a long working week trying to understand how it all gathers together, and then trying to explain it all to those around... with words that never fit. Here, now with all those overloaded conditions and smoky pop ups that always trig the "don't care flag" ON in the minds of innocent by-passers in the net, some phrases rolled over me in that bridge of yours from somewhere deep inside: A man can watch without seeing anything, but another can see everything without watching. Most important is to keep moving, but it eats the man to make that first step - as it takes a load of work to make the initiative, but where that enormous push leads remains unknown. After all, the one eyed one is not king in the world of the blind. A corner makes no sense to a circle, volume to an area or those things beyond to a puzzled mind, flying under the influence of that butterfly effect. Less is more - but until what limit? Two units unite by removing the fence in between, but if the first fence is removed do we have a one or a zero? This movie was great as it moved me, thanks!
That first scene between Brad and the "ambassador of love" feels long for a couple of reasons. First, the focus of this scene by the director should have been to set up Brad as a character, reveal his reserve and should have put him further into the foreground. A few expository cut in shots could have shown more about Brad. The director could have subtlely hinted at the Einstein "reveal" that was to come later in the scene.
Secondly, one of the shot used prominently in this scene was with Brad's back to the camera and it feels dead. Going to that shot kind of kills the momentum of the scene, when we want to look closer at him and read reaction or expression in his face.
Every scene in an intersting film has a story arch all its own and it is important, in preparation for shooting, to map the arch of a scene and make sure you get all the material for the editor to cut it eficiently and to make it satisfying to watch my the viewer.
'don't describe it as a techie' How did she know he was a techie? Was she a blind psychic or could she smell the flux remover on him?
Yeah, I would have liked to see the writer nail the setup line, either by as you suggest her smelling the soddering flux on him (very funny) or if Blad's first blush answer to her question was more of a techie answer about seeing powerlines or bridge-deck construction, etc.
Still, I liked this short film very much because the characters are real, the contrasts betwenn them cause sparks to fly and the twist at the end makes for a very satisfying short film.
how sweet is this? very touching and it helped show that even geek men can be in tune with their sensitive side. a nice touch. i adored the ending - brad totally found the right woman in melodie!
(side note: interesting but a little sad to see 35w in the background . . .)
just great!
I was very captivated by the opening of the title with the fingers moving across the braille. Very creative. Knowing what Mr. Berquist is going through with his own sight made the film that more impressive. A few little faux pax's but knowing that you shot the whole thing in one day I would say it was a good job. Especially by the Ms. Fradenburgh.
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