There are very nice shots of the Guthrie Theater in the portion of the movie that has no scripted dialogue and the musical interlude with the lead character Samatha and baby Adam. The camera work in this section is the strongest part of the short film and the most intersting to watch.
The portion shot on the bridge looks like the on camera spoken lines for Samantha was shot in relative daylight while Williams lines were shot at and entirely different time of the day (or the camera wasn't properly white balanced with the iris setting wrong). When cutting between the two characters, the color temperature does not match as he is really dark and blue and she is light and yellow.
I think the writer needs to learn how to write dialogue. The lines spoken where cliche and stilted. Very unnatural. A script can have unnatural lines if the overall style is not realism or naturalism. But these are lines if someone spoke to you on the street or in your home, they'd sound fake. And, coming out of these characters mouths, they sound false and forced. A table reading before shooting a script can easily correct many of those off-sounding lines and make for a better final film.
I loved the baby. He didn't have a single bad line.
The phone conversation an addition to the real conversation felt way too staged; it didn't feel like she was actually juggling two conversations. They started and stopped to accomadate one another. I think you had too many stories going on for such a short film. Dialogue was hard to listen to because it was so unnatural. There was too much camera movement and not enough consistency for my taste. I like the concept though, especially the "I wasn't really going to jump" bit. That made me smile. Too often we assume the worst about people, no?
10 comments:
There are very nice shots of the Guthrie Theater in the portion of the movie that has no scripted dialogue and the musical interlude with the lead character Samatha and baby Adam. The camera work in this section is the strongest part of the short film and the most intersting to watch.
The portion shot on the bridge looks like the on camera spoken lines for Samantha was shot in relative daylight while Williams lines were shot at and entirely different time of the day (or the camera wasn't properly white balanced with the iris setting wrong). When cutting between the two characters, the color temperature does not match as he is really dark and blue and she is light and yellow.
The baby is great! The baby has got a career in movies -- he's a natural!
I think there are two stories here but the
writer cannot decide whose story it is
CLUE: it's not Samantha's
Interesting storyline!!!! I loved the twists in the fate for the three main characters, intelligent writing!
And what a CUTE baby!!!!!
I liked the camera work and the story even more. I enjoyed how these characters lives were interwoven.
I think the writer needs to learn how to write dialogue. The lines spoken where cliche and stilted. Very unnatural. A script can have unnatural lines if the overall style is not realism or naturalism. But these are lines if someone spoke to you on the street or in your home, they'd sound fake. And, coming out of these characters mouths, they sound false and forced. A table reading before shooting a script can easily correct many of those off-sounding lines and make for a better final film.
I loved the baby. He didn't have a single bad line.
I liked the short film. The writer has a very promising future. As does the adorable baby!
The phone conversation an addition to the real conversation felt way too staged; it didn't feel like she was actually juggling two conversations. They started and stopped to accomadate one another.
I think you had too many stories going on for such a short film. Dialogue was hard to listen to because it was so unnatural.
There was too much camera movement and not enough consistency for my taste.
I like the concept though, especially the "I wasn't really going to jump" bit. That made me smile. Too often we assume the worst about people, no?
I had a very hard time listening to the actors...the dialogue was so unnatural.
Great job, can't wait to see more, cute baby!
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